Don't believe me? Observe the portrayal of love in most of our songs, books, and movies. We extremely disproportionately emphasize the infatuation stage, omit much of the adjustment and reconciliation stages, and pretty much completely fail to explain what keeps love going strong in relationships that thrive for decades. We idolize unstable, immature relationships focused solely on sexual attraction and emotional infatuation. Our real appreciation should go to those couples that take that initial emotional high (a drug-like euphoria that psychologists say lasts about only a year) and nurture it into the deep and abiding love that truly lasts a life time. Such a love not only sustains the couple in all their needs, but also the children that it creates.
The New York Times recently displayed all that is wrong with our society's view of love as they praised a couple that met and "fell in love" at their children's school and left their respective spouses to marry each other in the pursuit of "love." (There was no mention of marital problems with their original spouses.) Fortunately, most of the Times' readers are more wise then the reporting journalist: most of the article's comments lambasted the couple and the newspaper for their actions. Leaving your spouse and kids for another woman or man just because they make your heart twitter again is the epitome of selfishness. Approximately one-half of marriages today end in divorce, and those who don't get married have a much worse chance of remaining in a steady relationship. What do you think this sharp increase in broken homes has done to us? To our children?
More than ever, we need to learn what love really is, and what it takes to sustain and grow it.
"The Most Important Thing About Love," from Chaos Theory
Ever heard of chaos theory, Ed? It's a science, tries to determine underlying patterns in chaotic systems like weather, ocean currents, blood flow sort of things. But it turns out that are few things more chaotic than the beat of a human heart. Its beating up, slowing down. Pretty face, flirty stares. It's always changing on what's happening to ourselves out there. It's an erratic S.O.B. But underneath all of that bump-da-bump mess, there is in fact a pattern, the truth, and it's love. The most important thing about love is that we choose to give it, and we choose to receive it. Making it the least random act in the entire universe. It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal and all the dirt and makes us human. If you can figure that out, the Jake Lee's in the world got nothing on you.